special thanks

thanks for finally turning up to my film night. all those monday's you never bothered before, hindered by last minute excuses. i had stopped inviting you, having come to the slow realisation that i enjoy them more without your controlling presence & inevitable disappointment when you never showed. i was the eternal small child standing atop a stage peering out into a parent-free shadowed audience. you were never there.


and then you came, arriving three hours late. yeah , i still remember what it was like having a job. i stood at the back in my usual place clutching worthless drink vouchers. i gave them away but the bar had already run dry. still not drinking as flu racked my body. the alcohol supply's early demise was not because of me.


my film had not played yet. not that it mattered. it was only a silly ditty poorly crafted on the fly built on an inside joke. we made it for fun on the breath of the wind, a spare five minutes & a pile of confectionery wrappers.


after it played & the evening wrapped, i said my goodbyes while the troops went on as tradition deems, to drink next door. i quietly slipped away; my sanitorium calling from afar.


you stood outside smoking knowing how much i hate it & insisted on chasing the night further sans me [despite your declarations that i am your motivation]. you wanted to drink. your lover which you have always respected more. you'd had a hard week. as usual. 


afterwards when i admonished you for your social negligence, you said that you came because my friend, who is now yours, invited you, rather than me & my permission wasn't required. oh, and you wanted to see me despite my constantly reprimanded childish behavior. 


as the credits roll, i'd like to thank you for your continued support. i should've done it without you.


Sah Kah She Fah Rah from punk monk propaganda on vimeo.