resolution

i didn't make any new year resolutions. mostly because i have a long-standing struggle with the relevance of the gregorian calendar and have spent most of my life questioning the value of fitting in with systems with an on off dalliance between worlds. we're all misfits in our own way.

also i think anytime is a good time to work on yourself and others. in such a way that obligatory systems like mother's/father's/valentine's days must be rebelled, resisted & repelled -- love yourself and others when the time is right not when some intangible other dictates or profits from it.

however right now i would like to resolve everything. because it feels right. perhaps it's coincidence or the changing tides of the universe dictate it to be so in accordance with it being the beginning of january.

two years ago i started this blog for possibly one of the worst reasons ever. a boy.

it served as a communication device when all i really probably needed to say was "look at me, see me, etc." even now it's hard to stop. mostly because i'd revealed one aspect of myself and it was such a warped one that there was difficulty measuring my worth & understanding my value within a subjective perception of the system. so... i wanted to reveal my multi-faceted nature rather than being labeled merely as a fantasy creature twirling in the transacted umbrages of the night to be desired at a too-close too-far distance.

one thing which has transpired throughout this AWOL monk journey is that i have nothing to prove. and if one ever has to shout and twirl with reckless abandon till your arms ache and your feet bleed this is probably because the beat is wrong or you walked into the club dance-floor next to where you were actually supposed to be.

i shall continue to dance to my own beat. as we all should. whilst heeding the rhythm of those around me whom i love. for they can dance and sing.

in the meantime i started another blog. another identity. but that's another story & quite a different beat. each day is a new film, a new dance. we make up the steps as we go along.

:)