tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11853870734176642462024-03-14T04:49:39.558+11:00AWOL Monkone punk monk[ey] goes off the beaten track:<br>
no map. no structure. no accountability.<br>
just grit & glitz.ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.comBlogger670125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-56829668763016289982012-09-14T16:48:00.000+10:002012-09-14T16:48:38.429+10:00to thrive, not survive<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/lEV5AFFcZ-s" width="560"></iframe>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-52668558773596864472012-09-13T18:30:00.000+10:002012-09-13T18:37:28.098+10:00skype in the name of love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wyDVQVSztcQ/UFGKm37Wh3I/AAAAAAAAD8M/OLxmvxq8_qY/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-09-13+at+4.27.33+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wyDVQVSztcQ/UFGKm37Wh3I/AAAAAAAAD8M/OLxmvxq8_qY/s400/Screen+shot+2012-09-13+at+4.27.33+AM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">it might be true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. especially in the case of a hedonistic whirlwind love affair born out of a deep connection, but technology alleviates the pain of time apart after unexpectedly acquiring inseparable extra limbs. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">one doesn't often appreciate what exists until it is missed. and the furore of the full swing band once it moves on leaving only gyrating tumbleweed behind is quickly pined for once a situation is taken stock of. silence is only golden when one can see through the blur of the fast moving glittered shine of white noise. all that glisters is not gold, often have you heard that told... but in the stillness it stands true, echoed by your bodiless voice, your visage transmitted over my computer screen from thousands of miles way. given pixelated shape.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br />when an AWOL monk finds herself as part of a pair after a longterm pilgrimage of traversing dusty paths mostly single-handedly in a realm of inequality, it's nice to be reminded that it's no longer necessary to be alone. or unrequited. and that it might be time to retire one mantle in order to adopt another. a careful consideration. we can hold hands & face the world together.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">in a world of questions re: reality and the frailty of self-created bubbles, it is better to be reminded than forgotten. the fresh stimulus provided by an injection of tangible chemistry which lives & breathes in balanced equation despite physical disconnection. no out of sight, out of mind but a need to soak in the luxuriance of your shadow. and vice versa. the many guises of peter pan. but you will catch it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">our interludes much more anais nin than maxim because despite physical meets fantastical needs, this monk has no desire to wander into the territory blazed by those beforehand keeping in mind the longevity of the interwebs. despite the lure of the medium and contextual ease technology offers to maintain closeness when in a state of longing, google is forever. and mbs have an errant habit of finding themselves publicly online at some unforseeable future date regardless of noble intentions. more often than not, the condom needs to be placed on the internet connection, not human.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">so don't call me a prude & content yourself with an accidentally flashed nip or two, whimsical ruminations or barely discernible curved forms conjured with crushed blacks & pinks cast from the japanese lamp which sits aside my bed with the dodgy swinging bamboo we knocked that night scrambling for everything else on the table, in our heat-filled haze.<br /><br />my porn tags are my own. as </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">our banter development curve grows, with less reliance on habitual physical punctuation & the silence lessens, the weight of a rainbow spewing synced vibrations rates higher than any precious monochromatic mineral while</span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> we languish in our unfinished late night reflections. some things are still worth waiting the distance for. </span><br />
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ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-20968602800324179232012-08-10T22:11:00.001+10:002012-08-10T22:11:28.822+10:00haiku: new love<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">new love</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">a negotiable minefield</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">of illusion</span>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-25144198828933029902012-06-27T12:43:00.002+10:002012-06-27T12:43:27.918+10:00dizzy monk<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">this reminds me of that mos eisley bar scene where luke & ben first meet han solo & chewie...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/6ap1uvwK34E" width="420"></iframe>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-81455524908720074702012-06-26T10:42:00.000+10:002012-06-26T10:43:58.494+10:00these vagabond shoes...<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">are headed back your way new york. take two.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">because if i can make it there, i can make it anywhere. let's see shall we?</span><br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="236" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/aqlJl1LfDP4" width="420"></iframe>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-81068580318283497472012-06-25T10:11:00.000+10:002012-06-25T10:57:57.031+10:00free<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">something unexpected happened. <br /><br />i woke up the other morning. fully clothed. not in my bed as had become usual. or even my house.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">i was alone but haven't always been. encrusted in the previous night's make-up. coat, hat & boots still on. sounds of the previously partying warehouse around me sleepy & subdued. and i didn't think about you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">nor was there the burden of an omnipresent hangover because finally i had become bored of escapism, drowning my sorrows & wailing like a banshee on friends' shoulders, or conversely playing the man-eating femme fatale at an all-you-can-eat buffet. swings & roundabouts.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">later when i returned home peering at the world unveiled through mascara glued lashes with the sun dancing on my back warming the heart which fused back whole as pieces bled back together in escalated time lapse mode, i felt happy & have ever since. then i realised it was finally over: the grief cycle done & dusted. acceptance reigns, pain diminished. anaesthesia can now be abandoned.<br /><br />the time has come to reassemble the sabotaged pieces of my life. and shine once more. alone if need be. in true jonathon livingstone monk style.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">i will miss you, but our flight paths will surely coincide without being weighed down by sadness & frustration that we couldn't quite meet & glide indefinitely way beyond the clouds where we thought destiny had fated us. i'm not going back to the flock, and won't live within perceived limitations. dimension shifts have many faces.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">i wasn't born to drown in this ocean. nor were you. it's in us. the quest for perfection: love. we are meant to soar. SHORT WINGS!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">fly well beloved IDTC. goodbye for now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif, arial, 'Arial Unicode MS', 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana; font-size: 26px; line-height: 37px; text-align: center;">∞</span><br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="236" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/I6aBl7tAJCo" width="420"></iframe>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-28994651003883005892012-06-25T01:38:00.000+10:002012-06-25T08:12:07.900+10:00haiku: l'oreal dye box<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">l'oreal dye box </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">untouched - </span><span style=" font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">fresh bouncing tresses </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">man drowns. sud-filled drain.</span><i></i>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-15193850775996091892012-06-24T12:08:00.002+10:002012-06-24T12:22:16.611+10:00let me take you to a place...<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/998P6HEzCdI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-72049556387901291342012-06-22T13:58:00.000+10:002012-06-22T15:12:27.822+10:00exit the inter-octave void<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Eq3zjeMS6wg" width="420"></iframe>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/G_YMpns3WUA" style="background-color: white;" width="420"></iframe><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">NB. om was discovered by the ancients & REDISCOVERED by bell laboratories.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/PpJwKMnBS0E" width="420"></iframe></span>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-4888334643481694982012-06-20T17:19:00.000+10:002012-06-20T17:52:02.374+10:00may have saved the planet but i lost three friends<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="239" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/KQNc8SywS5s" width="425"></iframe><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">dancing. not waiting. kinda... *shoots self in head*</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">anyway, how awesome is this? <br /><br />when i stumbled upon this, i thought of you, of course. obvious alien jokes aside, this is fun dancing fodder. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />my new favourite thing. until you call.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />fuck you. YLS.</span></span>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-75207904769311832732012-06-20T12:06:00.002+10:002012-06-20T17:57:23.524+10:00still more blood to suck dry - zombie love story<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><i>abandon hope all ye who enter here</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><i>for i was foolish enough to grab a glimmer</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><i>and shouldn't have</i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">we met at a bar last night. i'd asked for a meeting. against my better judgement. we had unfinished business. not just of the personal variety which wasn't really my focus or at least i deigned to rise above it. try to anyway. <br /><br />you had footage, in fact you still have more - of projects i've conceived that we've produced together, creating small slices of magic. more than leaving an earring at your house. i half-heartedly tried to cancel beforehand via email realising after speaking with friends - i wasn't ready, not strong enough to resist the magnetism which pulls me to you. which binds us together in our ancient huckleberry finn meets tom sawyer tie. someone else could've gone, but that would be lame, sending someone in my stead. it had to be me. and the film edit was waiting... you didn't check your internet, you said.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">you'd asked for dinner. tentatively i agreed. why dinner? what did you want from me...what did you plan? was this where my unicorn fantasy filled with knights & gold rings would sweep by & lift me up into a dragon-filled sky as you made some longed for declaration of committed love? it was doubtful & no matter what every possible world which presented in my turmoil filled mind throughout the day was inadequate. invariably disappointing. i was a mess all day. the anticipation, the imagined scenarios, crippling: headlit frozen bunny.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">turns out you were just hungry. we fought at the bar immediately. you were angry. accused me of a lack of innocence & that i was just to blame as you for your transgressions, for our breakdown, for my ruination. that was unexpected although i had made you wait for 45 minutes. late, as usual. the wine steward clashed glasses around us rising to the tension. small cocktail knife to the right. our eyes mirrored the apple martini's beneath us. shiny. wet.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">you said you didn't expect us to get to this part so fast. our conversation. but i always cut to the chase. you opened the door & i flew through ready to dance if that was the beat you were determined to put on. how did you expect anything different? i listed my agenda as soon as the drinks were served. like an intrepid droid. sticking to the script incase it slid away. i planned to be the modicum of professionalism. a fast disappearing void. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">you asked for a hug, because i hadn't given one. and said i was stern. still nursing my almost mortal blow, how could i open up my arms & heart to you once more? conserving just enough energy to maintain enough rhythmic beat to stay alive. barely. it was you that had the other lovers, and lied about them, not me. while you worshipped at the altar of the idealised ghost. you had kept me waiting for so long, the consolation prize, safety blanket you would come back to after you got bored of others warming & delighting you. you, the pied piper led them astray illuminating worlds then tired of it would return home. soldier of love. denying them to me. i hugged you at the bar then but still felt dead, terrified of feeling anything incase it was impossible to let go. of you. my love.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">and somehow, even though you had nothing to give, i almost ended up buying back into it. we ended back at yours [for the footage]. we drank zubrowka, smoked several joints punctuated by my repeated requests for footage. you said "why, are you leaving now?" and i would make some weak attempt & fall back into my milk crate agreeing that i would only be more miserable away. i told you i didn't think i was going to make it but daren't break my promise to my child. crying. the magnum opus flying further out of my reach allowing the world to come crashing around me. trust is dead, trust is dead. you are the one who finally managed to steal it. you are the fool, the thief who selfishly squandered it as you danced & laughed amongst others with our heart secrets which i thought special. which clearly were not.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">you laugh for everyone. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">now once more, i sit and watch my phone in some horrible slo mo deja vu, worlds colliding back on themselves after somehow despite your lack of offer or declaration, the gaping wound has been cruelly forced open further. and how we have fought in the last 24 hours as the pain circles us like swooping buzzards as we dance the final steps of this pantomime clinging onto false hope stroking fools gold looking for some kind of beginning, a sign.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">you do not want to acknowledge your role and resent my pressing of it. will only yell while saying i do. but don't. yet you rejoice that communications are open between us. i consider closing the door, i should never have reopened it. there is no hope, there is no hope. half-hearted platitudes & small talk is not what i want with you. and will not. the riddler wants to take things one day at a time... to what end? i know what i want.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">you were finally ready to give it a shot, you say. with me. </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">captain hindsight.</span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> you had decided before i metaphorically slammed the door in your face eleven days prior to our barside meeting. you had told your sister your intentions, in some almost victorian gesture. thing is you didn't think to consult me, raggedy ann of the bronte era. but you rang your sibling. she was confused because you'd never really talked about me. me, the invisible partner. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">you lied about me to everyone, including yourself, most days. you even broke off with your other lovers. and now they're gone and i am too, and it's my fault apparently. "what was the point?", you ask? now you have nothing. you're angry because you could have had their love/sex continue on tap & it's ended unnecessarily. because i wasn't there at the finish line, waiting, like you've come to expect me to. i say, because you needed to change, to acknowledge truth, to grow. and that i am proud of you, knowing how you and honesty are difficult bedfellows. i saw your shift. before you shifted back.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">the day you did that, two tuesdays before, we sat atop the hill eating our oysters & chips as we do and talked. we talked about what you were about to do. don't you think you could have told me then that you wanted to start fresh, that you loved me, that you'd decided to "give it a shot" and finally be present in a true love partnership? that was probably a good time... we sat there for ages. i asked why you were going to see "the girls", you said you were doing it for you, not for me. so it should still be valid. i said "good" because one of my feet was already out the door & knew that to win me back you'd have to do a lot more. if you're determined to do the program you need to fulfil all twelve steps.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">i gave you my car to aid expediency, loved you, hugged you, supported you, advised you, conjured minestrone soup to come home to after your hard day at work breaking hearts you never had a right to connect to. not on my watch. like a stepford wife, buying soup ingredients & honest charlie's lemonade. your favourite. it took 12 hours, six per lover, your day after you left me at 1400 with the rental car used to chauffeur your ghost bride the weekend before. you came back in between lovers to pick up the car. i smiled while stirring soup and urged you to pick up the pace. or it would be cold.<br /><br />you returned spent & each day you put off talking to me about your great shift, slept in my bed, as another sat patiently on the wings even though i asked him not to [our inheritance of horror] and our great talk never happened. as usual. and then it got too late for me. exhausted lady in waiting. second prize was just not good enough. your passivity a weak excuse.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">and now you say i was mean to you? that it's my fault you couldn't speak as i spent three nights holding you during this... because i made a derisive comment about you and one of your lovers, who i keep running into. she hides from me with nervous eyes & downcast face. despite her guilt, her small role is acknowledged. you ARE very selective in the information you share... the town however too small to avoid one another in the circles we keep. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">i will not sweep it under the carpet. you shamed me. but that's not the key issue. you must live with the consequences of your actions. own them FFS. your lies. in order to embrace growth, change and heal, the habitual, unnecessary repeated lessons must be processed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">you screw with the crew & we all live with it. we impact others. you picked up with her against my warning when i knew you would the day it was set up as you lay in my bed beside me lying about it. eyes shifting. your lies stink. i begged you not to. you told me i was ridiculous, paranoid. and then did. i had invited her to work with us & you plucked her out like a ripe cherry, and popped it further. later you say you already knew her first so what's the problem? with steel eyes i consider kneecapping.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">but i forgive you. we're both...difficult. love & life are dynamic. as are we. it's possible to rise beyond this bloodied cage of staticness where we don't belong. together. i could, with you. if only you weren't so trapped within the cycle. caught in the embrace of denial. i am not the jailor.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />so the tourniquet has fallen off this bleeding heart. how many pints can a body leak before it finally empties? in a zombie apocalypse i never thought i would be one. a zombie. but perhaps it's better this way. to have lived, loved & lost so hard that the afterlife is one massive splatterfest where we can take pleasure in the mindless consumption of the still beating hearts of others. those who failed to feel enough, or still can. those who have not yet abandoned all hope. but even still a glance exists. check my phone again. nothing. there must be still some more blood. to suck. dry.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">and all i want to do is cry out my undying love for you from tall buildings hearing it echo down into the streets, bouncing off reflected walls of glass as the sun sets fat and low in the sky beneath the zombie hoards. i wish i may, i wish i might that the world was just & the wished for stars would shine for us tonight. before we consume each other. and the incurable pain is gone. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">[it is so very close to hate]</span>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-22876574451739146702012-06-19T11:27:00.000+10:002012-06-19T11:27:05.417+10:00soundtrack to getting my shit back together<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">it's like a love song to myself...</span><br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="236" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/8Uee_mcxvrw" width="420"></iframe>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-74544064427501393922012-06-19T10:51:00.000+10:002012-06-19T10:51:24.582+10:00it came from behind...<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/mMDV3eISLPs" width="420"></iframe>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-4330346286192465852012-06-18T12:29:00.000+10:002012-06-18T12:51:41.401+10:00die antwoord = the answer<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">...to heartbreak. this is my reality now. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">the place where trash and treasure meet.</span><br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="236" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/HcXNPI-IPPM" width="420"></iframe>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-80602503076641746422012-06-15T11:02:00.001+10:002012-06-15T11:04:14.813+10:00pandora's box shut<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">your </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">message</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">lies </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">unopened</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">pithos </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">of pandora</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">my phone </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">flash</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">offers </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">temptation</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">but</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">i can't </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">reply</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">no matter</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">how much</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">i want you</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">last night</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">overwhelmed</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">in a weak moment</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">i called</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">knowing</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">in your </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">hellbent path</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">of self-destruction</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">you'd be busy</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">no answer</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">because </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">you were</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">and i can't </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">message back</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">because</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">i love you</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">almost more than </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">anything</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">except </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">myself</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">pandora's box</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">must remain</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">shut</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">for </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">there </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">is </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">no </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">hope</span>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-68845614161016563712012-06-14T15:32:00.001+10:002012-06-14T15:32:11.037+10:00what she said<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/fkGUt4QYc08" width="420"></iframe><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">herein lies the problem...</span>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-25561647613075530882012-06-14T14:55:00.000+10:002012-06-14T14:57:01.312+10:00the sun shines in tangerine patterns on my bed<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uC_N1YGDhgY/T9ltADtVpBI/AAAAAAAAD74/XH7D2CzLMX4/s1600/tangerines.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uC_N1YGDhgY/T9ltADtVpBI/AAAAAAAAD74/XH7D2CzLMX4/s400/tangerines.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">today. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">the stalwart sun came out on my bed. and the sky burst playfully everywhere in patterns of psychedelic patterns without you. with these sweet organic mandarins springing forth as the nebulus. the haze broken. at least for now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/xJ7p7u3uzo4" width="420"></iframe>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-4569774759552417852012-06-14T11:54:00.003+10:002012-06-14T11:54:58.638+10:00if i had a wand<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">if i had a wand</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">i would wave it</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">and our laughter</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">would piss off cat</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">meowing his derision</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">for our silliness</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">as it washed over</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">the balcony</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">and the theatre</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">beneath, played on</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">instead of being</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">stuck, here.</span><br />
<br />ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-20030731692453229132012-06-14T11:05:00.000+10:002012-06-14T11:34:18.132+10:00i am sick with love<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">i am</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">sick</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">with </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">love</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">strangely</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">terminal</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">dangerous</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">liaison</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">steamroller</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">atop</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">barely</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">affords</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">breath</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">snot</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">tears</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">the </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">unknown</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">juices</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">unplugged</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">flow</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">in a </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">toxic</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">mishmash</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">of </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">resistance</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">my</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">ability</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">to care</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">crushed</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">by your</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">beautiful hands</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">[which i love]</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">beloved</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">IDTC</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">how they </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">once</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">caressed</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">my lower</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">spine</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">as it</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">arched</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">back</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">into you</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">quivering</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">how </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">i yearn</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">for your</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">touch</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">always</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">even now</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">to share</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">the </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">horror</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">such</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">sadness</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">how we</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">would </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">giggle</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">exchanging</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">naughtiness</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">our</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">destructive</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">anecdotes</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">framed by</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">collective</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">mirth</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">your</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">unmeeting</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">unchangeable</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">eyes</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">the </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">town</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">became</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">too small</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">suffocating</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">trust</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">already</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">packed up</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">taking</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">the crystal</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">with</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">it</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">noone</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">notices</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">my</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">outward</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">projection</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">only</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">wavers</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">sometimes</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">soul</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">shrinking</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">beneath</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">unanswered</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">calls</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">delayed</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">meetings</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">more</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">- if</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">i stay</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">i will</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">surely</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">die</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">i am</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">sick</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">with</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">love</span>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-55654314988703247682012-06-13T10:56:00.000+10:002012-06-13T10:56:12.428+10:00it's not dark yet. but it's getting there<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/RZgBhyU4IvQ" width="420"></iframe>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-57887178153396715022012-06-13T10:43:00.002+10:002012-06-13T10:44:24.158+10:00i keep seeing the blue light of a TV show<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/nMqxNPsfN50" width="420"></iframe>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-70897028861613527042012-06-12T12:10:00.000+10:002012-06-12T12:10:49.419+10:00ginsberg mash<iframe allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="100" src="http://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/v=2/track=1745972766/size=venti/bgcol=FFFFFF/linkcol=4285BB/" style="display: block; height: 100px; position: relative; width: 400px;" width="400">&lt;p&gt;&amp;amp;lt;a href="http://katalystmusic.bandcamp.com/track/dreaming-of-you"&amp;amp;gt;Dreaming of You by Katalyst&amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;gt;&lt;/p&gt;</iframe>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-55502685989499926842012-06-12T12:02:00.001+10:002012-06-12T12:02:38.000+10:00we unlock our room & step inside<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/CNy14tDeBss" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-24801057177981563012012-06-11T12:06:00.001+10:002012-06-11T12:18:42.026+10:00side by side<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4W8anUDXnaA/T9VRXzgpkFI/AAAAAAAAD7s/ghQ9WdH6Zv4/s1600/moreIDTC.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="350" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4W8anUDXnaA/T9VRXzgpkFI/AAAAAAAAD7s/ghQ9WdH6Zv4/s400/moreIDTC.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<i style="background-color: black; color: #ffffff; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">"The story behind the picture is. Everyday at the same time she waits for him. He comes and they go for a walk.......Wouldn't it be great if we all have friends like that. No words needed. They just intuitively recognize the value of each other in their lives and act accordingly."</i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">i'm not in the habit of reposting content from facebook but this had heartstrings all aflutter. IDTCs come in various shapes & sizes. i miss mine. thanks john pocino whom i lifted this from. </span>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1185387073417664246.post-63544150546004239212012-06-11T09:19:00.000+10:002012-06-11T09:20:29.477+10:00ten things i hate about you<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/gGV4hxhxW8o" width="420"></iframe>ms_monkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10481485115121641920noreply@blogger.com0